Gone, but not Forgotten: Pay money To my Pain.

 

It's been a while since I've posted another Gone, but not Forgotten post. After scouring through various options, I settled on a band that has been near and dear to my heart for over a decade. This was a band that helped me in my darkest days with heartfelt lyrics that deeply resonated with me. Pay money To my Pain was active from 2005-2013. 

Pay money To my Pain formed in 2005 following the disbandment of vocalist Kei 'K' Goto's previous band, Gun Dog. Wanting to keep going with music, K recruited the four members that wound up being the band. Those members being guitarists JIN and Pablo, bassist Tsuyoshi (Stylised T$UYO$HI), and drummer Zax. The name of the band came from Kei talking about how his lyrics expressed his deepest pain and thus, fans who supported the band were buying into it. 

When they first started out, they produced their own songs. After releasing some demos, the major record label, VAP, took notice and signed them to a deal in 2006. This move was swiftly followed by the release of their first single, "Drop of Ink", in that same year. The following year brought about the release o their first studio album, Another Day Comes, which was released in September 2007. Another Day Comes was recorded in California, far from their home in Japan. 

2008 brought change as the second guitarist, JIN, left the band to focus on production work and he went on to produce for his brother Hide, in the pop band GreeeeN. He was never replaced, a decision that the band purposefully made and instead that worked with session musicians to add more keyboard to their sound. "Writing in The Diary", a single, was the only release of the band in 2008. 

Around that time with the band playing live shows over there, K also moved over to Los Angeles in America to further study and improve his English. The band worked around him moving by communicating via email and Skype. He also flew back and forth between America and Japan four times a year so that they could record and play. Sadly, this meant that their release schedule was pretty sparse. 2009 saw the release of the album, After You Wake Up and after that the next release was the 2011 album Remember the Name. These two releases were noted for their much more experimental sound with an industrial influences and were interspersed with some tremendous, softer songs. 

2012 brought about the release of the greatest hits album, Breakfast, that was released in October. Unfortunately, this would be the final release that K would live to see as he sadly passed away on the 30th of December 2012. His cause of death was determined to be acute heart failure. 

Before K's death the band had been in the studio to record for another album. This album would be released in 2013 and was called Gene. The album was released in his honour and featured the songs he had been working on as well as a beautiful tribute to him. The song, Voice, was written about him by friend of the band and a talented vocalist in his own right, Takahiro Moriuchi of ONE OK ROCK. I actually think that Voice is Taka's best vocal performance and I love the Japanese lines used in the song. Hazuki from one of my favourite bands, lynch. also featured on the album alongside Masato from Coldrain. They both were vocalists on the track, Resurrection.

The band would play their final concert titled From Here to Somewhere in December 2013. The following year on the 29th of December, a previously unreleased track was uploaded to their official YouTube channel. Room 103 had K on vocals as did the other unreleased song that got uploaded exactly a year later, titled Relive. 10 years to the date of their first released single on the 6th of December 2016, Drop of Ink, the band released 10 years from Drop of Ink. This was a boxset that covered their entire career and featured 5 CDs, a 12" vinyl, 2 Blu-rays, and a variety of trinkets. 

 After a quiet period of 5 years, the band reunited to play on the second day of the Coldrain hosted BLARE FEST in 2020. The band's set featured a wide variety of various guests such as the aforementioned Hazuki, Masato and Taka. Those three played their songs that were featured on Gene, Resurrection and Voice, respectively. Mah from SiM, a band that I have covered on my blog also joined the band on stage to do vocals for Weight of my Pride. Kenta Koie and Teru from Crossfaith and Nobuya and Noaki from ROTTENGRAFFTY joined the band for Respect For the Deadman. Finally, Yosh form Survive Said The Prophet and AG from NOISEMAKER joined the band for Pictures. 

What made Pay money to my Pain stand out was their usage of English lyrics. Their songs were all written in English and this in turn made them super accessible to a global audience. This was another conscious decision that the band made when first forming. In terms of song writing, K would often write lyrics upon hearing a tune from Pablo that he liked with he bringing a notebook into the studio. His touching lyrics were heartfelt and often dealt with his own personal struggles with anxiety and depression. This made the songs relatable as it was as if K was opening his soul up to his fans around the world and they were sharing in his pain. His beautiful voice also enhanced the emotional depth of the lyrics as he could perform majestic cleans such as in Same As You Are and other soft tracks as well as deliver some rougher, harsh vocals for the heavier stuff such as Deprogrammer which features some brilliant screams.

Their sound could perhaps be described as a blend of post-hardcore and nu-metal with some soft pop-rock and pop-punk thrown in for their softer offerings. They've also been described by some as having emo elements, but with complex harmonies and down tuned guitar riffs that have a heavy sound. Pablo, the half Hispanic, half-Japanese guitarist, was responsible for the composition. 

My favourite song of theirs is Same As You Are. It's one of the softer tracks with lyrics about loving a girl, but in a melancholic way. There's some absolutely gorgeous guitar work and drumming on the song, with some sublime, gentle riffs that build into a glorious crescendo. 

Thankfully, most of the surviving members of the band haven't left the music industry following the release of Gene and the disbandment of Pay money To my Pain. Former guitarist JIN is the lead vocalist for the band High Speed Boyz and also seems to still be involved in production work. Pablo has been working as a support guitarist for a variety of artists including Fake?, LiSA, Oblivion Dust and Tarui Nakajima. T$UYO$HI and Zax still play together in a band called THE BONEZ. I for one am genuinely happy that they're all still involved in music as they're extremely talented individuals that have a lot to offer.

Why has their music meant I lot to me? The answer is simple. I've been through a lot of mental health struggles and K's lyrics have made me felt like I'm not alone in feeling down and out. I'd recommend anyone who struggles with mental health to listen to their music, it helps.